Open adoption is a relationship where adoptive parents and birth mothers maintain contact, which can include letters, emails, phone calls or even in-person visits. But what does this mean for a birth mother?
Birth mothers need to understand it’s the benefits of open adoption before making this selfless decision.
Expectant Parents Have More Control
A birth mother in an open adoption has control over her pregnancy and the type of relationship she wants with the adoptive family. During the adoption process, she will form an “adoption hospital plan” with her social worker that will detail the amount of contact she would like to have with the adoptive family during labor and delivery.
Once her baby is born, many birth mothers maintain a close and healthy relationship with the adopted child through ongoing letters and pictures. This allows them to see the reasons they chose adoption play out as their child grows up and provides a sense of redemption for their decision.
Of course, maintaining a relationship with the child’s birth parents can come with risks. The possibility of misunderstandings or disappointments is real for both families, but the benefits outweigh the challenges. Adoptees can also benefit from having access to their biological parents as they learn more about their background and answer any questions they may have.
In the realm of open adoption, expectant mothers benefit immensely from the nurturing environment of support groups tailored to their journey. The expectant mothers support group Wichita Kansas, provides a secure environment for women to share their stories, find comfort, and obtain important resources, enabling them to make confident and well-informed decisions regarding their unborn child’s future.
Birth Parents Have a Stronger Connection
Many birth parents who chose an open adoption find that they have a stronger relationship with the adoptive family than they thought possible. This can be an incredible source of support for birth parents as they manage pain, grief and loss while simultaneously being able to pour back into the adopted child that which was taken from them.
Adoptees can benefit from open adoption by receiving letters and photos from their birth parents and gaining a sense of family history that they may not have known before. This can help them develop a strong identity and foster love and belonging.
Birth mothers can also enjoy the joys of seeing their children growing up and thriving in their new home. Sharing joyful milestones, such as first steps or a ski trip, can help her feel more connected and can be a great way to reaffirm that she made the right choice.
Birth Parents Have More Involvement
For birth mothers, an open adoption allows them to develop a relationship with the adoptive parents and gain more confidence that they are providing their child with a loving family. It can also reduce their struggle with guilt.
It also makes it less likely that a birth mother will change her mind about placing her baby for adoption. This is because she can visualize her future life with the adopted child, and she knows that her decision has had a positive impact on the adoptive parents.
The amount of contact varies and can include phone or video chats, emails, or in-person meetings. Both families need to communicate what they want their contact schedule to look like, but it can always be renegotiated over time. It also helps to have a mediator who can facilitate communication and help set boundaries when necessary. The most important thing is that both parties remain respectful and honest.
Birth Parents Have a Stronger Support Network
The loss of a child is never easy for birth parents. Open adoption offers them an opportunity to see that their child is happy in their new home, which helps with separation grief. It also reaffirms their choice, which can help them move on with their lives.
Depending on the situation, a birth mother may want to have frequent phone or video chats, texts and even in-person visits. This can be a part of the adoption hospital plan that she and the adoptive family work out with their social worker, or it could be a post-adoption contact agreement.
There are many ways that families can communicate through open adoption, including sending letters through an intermediary or meeting once a month. It all depends on the desires of each party, and some families even choose to have semi-open adoptions in which they know each other’s names but do not meet often or exchange pictures. In the end, every open adoption is different and comes down to what is best for the adopted child.
